


Making Friends and Allies - the Winchester Way

by MonPetitTresor



Series: Changing the Past [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Cure, Enemies to Friends, Gabriel (Supernatural) is Loki, Human Meg, Men of Letters Bunker, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, the bunker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-09-09 07:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8881702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonPetitTresor/pseuds/MonPetitTresor
Summary: Sam takes the prisoner in her trunk and heads to the only place that she can feel safe - the only place that's home. While there, she takes care of the first order of business... curing Meg. Once she cures here, is Meg going to want to stick around, or is she going to want to go her own way? Sam needs allies to help support her and to help stop the future she came from. There's one out there that she knows she needs on her side, more than anyone else. Will she be able to go and ask for help?





	1. Chapter 1

Getting into the Bunker was just as easy as Sam remembered it being. Sure, in their timeline they’d needed a key, one that Henry Winchester had brought to them when he’d time traveled to the future. But Sam had spent plenty of time in the bunker. She’d researched ways to get in there. It’d never made sense that only one key let someone in. There had to be other ways, right?

Sure enough, there had been. There’d been guest keys that could be given to someone and used to let them in, though only to the main entryway. A certain spell had to be done from someone inside the bunker to allow the guest admittance any further than that. But there’d also been a spell and a little blood ritual that would allow someone to break past the wards and get inside. Once in she knew how to work things well enough inside and would be able to do the right kind of spells to key herself into the wards so that all she’d have to do would be to touch the door to allow entrance. Since she was a blood relative of Henry, she’d be a close enough match to him that getting her added into the wards would be simple. It was a much smarter way of doing things instead of risking carrying around a key that could end up stolen.

Doing all of that only took her about an hour once they arrived. After that, once the bunker was safe for her to enter and she was free to come and go as she pleased, she’d brought the car into the garage and then set up the dungeon and prepared herself for the up and coming ritual. This was something she’d done more than once before, yet she thought to herself that this was by far going to be the easiest of them all. Still, it gave her a small shiver to look at the dungeon and remember the last time she’d been here, the last time she’d done this.

The whole bunker was full of memories that pushed and pulled at Sam with every step she took. Not just memories of Gabriel, either. No, there were countless memories of Dean here. Dean, Castiel, Kevin… all the people who had made up her little family at the end. All the people that she had lost.

Sam had to stop on her way back towards the garage and just pause for a moment right there in the middle of the hallway. One hand came out to brace on the wall while her eyes slid closed. The grief that she’d been fighting back so hard welled up and briefly threatened to swallow her. It felt like her very soul was crying out for the ones she’d lost. For Gabriel, for Dean, even for Castiel. God, it hurt. It _hurt_! Why – why did she always have to be the one to keep moving on after things? Why was she always the one left finding some way to survive? Any time that Dean had lost her, he’d fought and fought hard until she was brought back to him, or he’d rushed right out and made a demon deal. But not Sam. Sam – she was always stuck alone, waiting and hoping, doomed to fail to do anything to bring her brother back to her.  He always came back because of the help of someone else. Never because of her. And she had to live the whole time he was gone with the pain of having lost a person who was so close to her it felt sometimes like he was a part of her. Best friend, brother, father figure – those were only a few of the things that made up Dean in her world.

Tears burned the backs of Sam’s eyes. She had to fight them bac, force them down. A few shaky breaths and she had it under control. This wasn’t the time for this. Later, she could hide away in her room here and let herself grieve a little more. Let out some of the pain that came from being in _their_ home alone. For now, she had a job to do. Lifting her chin and straightening her spine, Sam finally opened her eyes, not a single trace of the tears that had been there before. Her steps were steady and sure as she set off down the hall. She had a job to do.

It was just a little more satisfying than it probably should have been to take a blindfolded and cuffed Meg down to the dungeon and shackle her to the chair.

Of course, the whole time she did, Meg’s mouth was running almost nonstop. Sam rolled her eyes at the threat pouring from the woman’s lips. “You know, as entertaining as all this is, I really don’t want to listen to this for the next eight hours.” Sam said, pulling the hood off of Meg’s head. She waited a second as the demon looked around, furious black eyes taking in everything, and then those eyes settled back on her. Sam didn’t flinch under the stare. She stayed there and cocked an eyebrow at her as Meg snarled out “I’m going to get out of here, and when I do I’m going to enjoy killing you.”

Looking at Meg was strange. Instead of the black-haired woman that Sam had known her as at the end, she was in the body of the blond woman. Meg Masters. In Sam’s timeline, Meg Masters had been fine right up until they’d thrown Meg out of a building and down multiple stories to the ground. At least, as far as they knew she’d been fine. There was no telling how the demon had treated Meg before that. If it was anything like this world, Sam was guessing ‘not well’, because there was no doubt in her mind that the human soul was gone in this vessel.

How she knew, she didn’t want to analyze too closely. Whether it was something left over from the bond with Gabriel, or something that came from being back in a body that still had access to demonic powers, or maybe it was just another difference in this timeline compared to hers – she had no idea. All she knew was that there was no feel of a soul left in there, just a demon. Well, one demon who was soon to be human.

Breaking out of her thought, Sam focused back on the demon in front of her, pushing aside the questions about powers until later right alongside everything else she didn’t want to think about. “You’re trapped in multiple devil’s traps, wearing shackles inscribed with sigils meant to contain you and a specialized demon collar.” Sam pointed out calmly. Her lips twitched a little with a smile that held no real mirth. “I highly doubt you’re going anywhere. Now, one way or another this little ritual of mine is going to happen. It’s up to you whether it happens with or without a gag.”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Saving you.” Sam said. She turned and walked over to the little table by the wall where she’d set up her supplies before bringing Meg in here. The first needle was there waiting for her. She lifted it in her hand and turned to look back at Meg with a hard look on her face. “Whether you like it or not.”

* * *

The ritual to cure a demon was honestly rather easy when it was prepared for like this. Sure, Sam was a bit dizzy, having drawn some of the blood in advance. But she’d been smart enough to space it out and wait a few hours in before drawing out what she’d need for the second half of the ritual. Four vials when she’d first come in and then the next four when she was just about halfway through. That gave her all eight doses without making her feel too weak from too much blood loss.

With Meg shackled down there was nothing that said that Sam had to stay in the room between each dose. She really didn’t want to listen to the vile things that the demon screamed. But, she also wasn’t quite sure she was up to wandering away from the dungeon and into the rest of the bunker. Mostly she just ended up in the hallway, sitting down on the floor and staring at the shut door. Meg’s shouts were mostly blocked out by that shut door. Just a faint furious sound could be heard.

It was around the sixth dose that Sam noticed a difference when she went into the room. Meg’s eyes were less furious, her expression just a bit more open, a bit more painful. Instead of screaming at Sam how much she was going to hurt her or all the ways she was going to kill her, she glared up at the hunter as Sam came up with the next injection and she demanded “Why are you doing this to me?”

There was a pain and desperation in those words that gripped at Sam’s insides. “Because I know that, despite what you’ve done, you have the capability to be good.” The Meg that she’d known had been capable enough of it that she’d managed it even while still a demon. That spoke to a strong, beautiful soul inside. One that Sam had to help if she could. With steady hands, she reached out to deliver the next injection, and Meg didn’t fight her.

When she was done, Sam pulled the needle back and looked down at the woman’s downturned face. Meg was bent low, blond hair falling forward to block off her face. It was longer on her than Sam remembered. Instead of the short, boyish cut, her hair hung to just a bit below her shoulders. For a second Sam hesitated. Then she reached out and brushed just a bit of it back from Meg’s face. She ignored how Meg jerked back from her. There was still enough in her that she wasn’t capable of simply accepting the gentle touch. That was fine. Sam let her hand drop down as she met Meg’s dark brown eyes. “I know it doesn’t make any sense right now.” Sam said softly. “I promise, once this is done I’ll give you a somewhat better explanation. At least, as best as I can. Just… right now, all you need to know is that I want to do this.”

“Why?” Meg demanded. She sounded like she was trying to snarl, only it came up far short of the mark.

Sam licked her lips and carefully chose her next words. “Let’s call it a favor to an old friend.”

Friend might be a strong word, but it felt right. This whole thing felt right. In their timeline Meg had screwed them over in so many ways, yes, and she was responsible for a lot of pain, but she’d come around in the end. She’d helped them so many times. And Sam couldn’t deny that she’d cared deeply for their angel. She’d sacrificed her life to Crowley so that Sam could get the chance to keep her ‘unicorn’ safe. It felt right to repay that debt this way.

She’d given up her life for them to get away safely. Now Sam had the chance to give that life back, albeit in a different way.

* * *

There was no fight left in Meg by the time they reached the end of the ritual. She gave up no resistance as Sam gave the last injection. The room seemed to echo with the sound of Sam’s voice as she recited the incantation that would help to complete this. “ _Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus. Hanc animam redintegra, lustra! Lustra_!”

A slice to her palm and Sam stepped forward to slap her hand against Meg’s mouth. The room was lit up with a bright, white light, reminiscent of an angel’s light, and Sam felt the power that blasted between them.

When it faded, the two of them were left exactly as they’d been before. But when Sam looked down at the woman below her, it wasn’t the darkness of a demon that looked back up at her. It worked. It worked! Sam’s lips stretched into an honest smile wide enough that it crinkled her eyes and brought out her dimples.

Meg looked stunned. Completely stunned. Her eyes were wide as they turned up towards Sam. “You did it.”

“I did.”

“I’m… I’m _human_.”

The way she said it had Sam wanting to chuckle. “You could say that less like it was a curse.”

“I didn’t want…” Meg trailed off. Pain spasmed across her face. Grief, heartache, all of it was lit up in her eyes – eyes that showed everything at the moment. There were none of her usual snarky defenses up. “You have no idea the things I’ve done. How am I… how am I supposed to live with this?”

Realization hit Sam and she cursed herself for not thinking of this sooner. Without hesitation, she moved herself around until she could squat down in front of Meg. She laid a hand on either one of Meg’s knees and tilted her head so that she could look up at the woman that was trying to curl inwards. “Meg… can I still call you Meg?” She waited until she got a half shrug as an answer before continuing. “Meg, listen to me. I know what you’re feeling right now. I know the guilt, the pain. The belief that there’s absolutely nothing that’s going to make this right.”

A hint of the old Meg showed through when she curled her lip up and snarled at Sam. “How would _you_ know?”

“It’s a part of that long explanation I promised you’d get later. Just, trust me. I know what it feels like to come back to yourself and realize the horrible things that you’ve done.” God, did she know. The things that she’d done soulless – those still haunted her. Things that she’d done when possessed by Meg, by Lucifer, my _Gadreel_. Those were memories that she had had to learn how to live with no matter how much it hurt to do so. Thinking of those had Sam’s voice thickening with emotion. “People might try to tell you that it wasn’t you, that you were a demon and so it doesn’t count, but I know you won’t believe it. You can’t. It was you that did it, in a sense, and they’re your memoires. You’re going to have to find a way to live with them. But, Meg.” Here she paused, reaching up to curl one of her hands around Meg’s. The woman was staring at her and Sam held that gaze, needing Meg to understand this. The cure was only the first half of what Sam wanted to do here. She’d cured Meg – now she wanted to help her learn how to _live_. “I promise you, you _can_ find a way to live with this. You will. It just takes time.”

To her surprise, Meg looked like she was close to tears. It was stunning to see someone who’d always been strong and sassy and cocky looking so open and exposed. “I’ve done horrible things.” Meg whispered. “How do I live with that? How do I make that better?”

“You take it one day at a time. Sometimes you take it one minute at a time. And every day, you do everything you can to not be that person anymore. You might not be able to go back and change what you’ve done, but you can go forward and make better choices.” You fight for redemption. It was what Sam did every single day of her life. She made bad choices, yes, and she made mistakes, but she fought every single day to do good, to try and make some difference in the world. To do anything that might help make up for all the wrong that she’d done. She fought for a chance at redemption.

As Sam finally started to unhook Meg from her shackles one by one, she hoped that the struggle was something Meg was going to be able to handle. It wasn’t easy. Fighting against the guilt and shame of what you’d done – and it was clear that she honestly did feel that guilt and most definitely felt the shame – and striving all the while to do anything you could to make up for it, those weren’t easy things. She hoped Meg was up to the battle.


	2. Chapter 2

Once Sam got the exhausted newly-turned-human settled down into a room of her own, it left the hunter free to wander. She didn’t know quite what to do with herself yet. Being here in this place, it was hard and yet it also carried that sense of homecoming to it. This was her home. This was where she was meant to be. The only things missing were the people.

Sam followed a familiar path down the hallway and in the direction of the one place she wasn’t sure she really wanted to see. Yet somehow her feet brought her there until she was standing right outside the door to Dean’s bedroom. For a moment Sam just stayed there. She stood frozen in front of that door. Then, shaking ever so slightly, she lifted her hand and laid her palm flat against the door. Part of her wanted to open the door and go inside. She wanted to go in there and look at the space that belonged to her brother. But the rest of her knew better. Because this? This wasn’t her brother’s room. This was where his room would be if things were the way they were supposed to be. This was Dean’s room in her timeline. In this one, they hadn’t even come here yet. The room wasn’t Dean’s. It wouldn’t be set up with the guns on the wall and pictures spread out around the place. There wouldn’t be Dean’s clothes stacked on a chair where he’d taken them off, boots down on the ground beside them. It wouldn’t smell like him. It wouldn’t _feel_ like him.

Shuddering, Sam leaned in a little and pressed her forehead against the door, right beside her hand. _I don’t know what I’m doing, Gabe. I’m trying so hard here, but I just, I don’t know what I’m doing. I miss you – all of you. How am I supposed to do any of this without you guys?_

How long she stood there she wasn’t sure. But eventually she had to move. There were too many things that needed to be done. Too much that was waiting for her to handle it.

Sam moved better once she had purpose. Her bags were unloaded from the car and brought in to the room that she picked as hers. Very deliberately she picked a room different than her old one. The idea of taking it felt just wrong to her. Instead, she picked a different room, one that was set up just slightly dissimilar than her old one. A different style dresser, the bed a queen instead of a king, the nightstand on the opposite side, no desk. This room was basic and simple. That was all she needed.

After she was sure that her stuff was in there and put away, she took some time to clean it up. To take out the dusty, dirty sheets and replace them with clean ones – after flipping the mattress over and vacuuming it. Cleaning and organizing her room took a couple hours before she was finally satisfied with it. After that, she set off to the next important step in things – finding the account ledgers. Those had been a bit of a joy to find the last time around. Finding out that they had access to money had really, really helped them.

The ledgers were exactly where they’d been in her timeline. Sam gathered them up and then brought them in to the main part of the library, spreading them out on the table. Last time around Dean had handled this. Despite the fact that Sam was the one with the college education and the one that people probably assumed would handle anything like this, Dean had always been the one who’d budgeted them. He’d taught Sam how, of course, and made sure that she was fully capable of making her own budget and being responsible for spending the money she had, but he’d always handled their finances here. Sam remembered some of what he’d done and she tried to reconcile it with the books that she had in front of her now. Once she got it organized, withdrawing some of the money wouldn’t be too hard. _That_ part of things was where she excelled. A laptop and a little bit of time and she’d have the accounts all set up so that she could access them accordingly.

She’d worked her way through most of them and was pretty sure she had Dean’s old system figured out when the sound of footsteps interrupted her thinking. She looked up just in time to see Meg making her way towards her.

The ex-demon looked well rested. The clothes that Sam had tossed into her room once she’d gotten Meg squared away seemed to fit well enough for the moment. They were some of Sam’s, so they were a little big on Meg – too long and bigger in the chest – but they did the job. Meg had pulled her blond hair back from her face and into a messy bun, little bits of it still hanging down towards her eyes. She looked tired, yet, rested. Still hurting, Sam could see, the pain reflecting in her eyes. But not lost underneath it. Sleep had helped her to find her equilibrium. She wasn’t perfect yet – still, she was getting there.

“Hey.” Sam greeted her, smiling a little. It felt sort of strange to be greeting Meg without any hint of a weapon between the two of them. At least, not one that she could see.

Meg gave a half grin that looked only slightly forced. “Hey.” Lifting one hand, she gestured around her. “Pretty nice digs you got here.”

“It does the job.” Sam watched as Meg joined her at the table, picking a chair at the end where there weren’t as many ledgers. The woman sat down and curled her legs up in the chair. She looked, better. “How’re you holding up?”

The sound Meg made was somewhere between a snort and a laugh. “Oh, great. Everyone enjoys a few good hours of nightmares about hell, right?”

Sam couldn’t help it; she flinched. She knew Meg saw it but the woman didn’t comment on it, thankfully. It gave Sam a second to regain her composure and actually manage to speak in a normal tone of voice. “It gets easier.”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see.” The way Meg said that made it clear she wasn’t quite sure she believed it. “In the meantime, I thought a bit about what you said back there. About taking each day as it comes and trying to be better, all that happy-healthy-love sort of hippie crap.”

“Gee, thanks.” Sam said dryly.

Meg flashed her a grin. “Anytime.” Then her smile faded a little and she shifted in her seat, drawing her knees up just the slightest bit more. Her arms were tucked between her knees and her stomach. They were holding on to her in a way Sam was familiar with. She’d done it plenty of times herself. “The thing is… I’ve done a lot of crap, Sammi. I’ve got a lot of shit I’ve got to make up for. I don’t even really know where the hell to _start_. But what I do know is that my best chances at that are here – with you.”

Really? Sam’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Was Meg really saying that she wanted to stay here with Sam? “You want to… what? Hunt?”

“Or whatever else you’ve got going on here. There’s something big going on, I can sense it. Things aren’t going the way they’re supposed to and you’re nothing like what you should be.” Meg’s eyes had sharpened a little and she was sitting up straighter now. The way she was looking at Sam showed the smart mind that was inside. The mind that had helped Meg to stay alive through all the crap she’d lived in during Sam’s original timeline. “You killed Azazel, kidnapped and _cured_ me, and you’ve got this amazing little hideout here that has a dungeon made for demons and creatures and a library that looks pretty damn amazing. None of this is how it’s supposed to be. You’re changing _destiny_. Something tells me being here on your side is the smart place to be.”

The idea of having an ally was appealing. Sam didn’t trust Meg completely, not yet. She’d be stupid to do so. But she’d trusted the demonic part of her before. She could learn to trust the human part of her. Still… “There’s more to this than you know, Meg. It’s gonna be dangerous. If you stay with me there’s every chance you could end up dead. What I’m going up against – it’s huge.”

“The apocalypse, I know. Azazel told me what was going on.” Meg said.

Sam shook her head. “It’s more than that. More than just me being the devil’s meatsuit. More than some fight between brothers that could destroy a planet. If I don’t fix things, it’s not just earth that’ll suffer. It’s all of existence.”

The casual way that Sam spoke seemed to leave Meg stunned. She obviously hadn’t expected Sam to have the kind of knowledge she did or to speak of it so easily. After a moment of shock, the woman’s eyes narrowed on Sam and a look of calculation entered them. She was obviously taking what she knew and trying to add it all together. The fact that Sam had all these things on her side, was doing all sorts of things that she shouldn’t have been able to do, _plus_ the fact that she seemed to know far more than she should, all of it said quite a lot to Meg about whose side it was smartest to be on here. Her voice was steady and rang with conviction as she said “I want to help.”

“I don’t entirely trust you.” Sam told her. She wanted that to be clear.

It brought a smile to Meg’s lips. “I know.”

“You’ll have to earn it.”

“I will.” The way Meg said it, so simple, gave the words that much more meaning. “You won’t regret it, Sam.”

With a smirk worthy of her trickster, Sam nodded her head. “Oh, I know. If you end up betraying me, I’ll make sure to show you a few more things I learned that you guys don’t know about. I promise you you’ll beg for death before I’m done.”

Instead of looking afraid, or cowed, Meg looked a little bit pleased by those threats. And amused. Most definitely amused. She fluttered her lashes at Sam flirtatiously. “You sure know how to sweet talk someone, Sami-girl.”

Immediately a grimace twisted Sam’s features. That was just – no. “Don’t call me that. It sounds weird.”

“How about little sister?” Meg shot back. “We’ve both got a bit of Azazel in us. That makes us sisters.”

That was even worse. Sam scowled as she sat back in her seat, the ledgers almost entirely forgotten in front of her. “No. Just, _no_. One: that’s creepy. Two: I’m _way_ older than you.” The last part slipped out before Sam even thought about it. She didn’t try to take the words back, though. Her story would have to come out eventually. Meg already suspected there was plenty different about her. Sam wasn’t going to disabuse her of that notion. It would keep Meg on her toes for a while. Eventually, she’d explain it to her. Just, not yet.

Meg looked at her disbelievingly. “I lived a couple hundred years as a demon.”

“I still win.”

Silence fell over the room as Meg just stared at her, eyes wide and eyebrows up. After a long moment her face settled down into relaxed lines once more. “I’m sensing a huge story there. Just like I’m sensing a giant ‘back the fuck off’ sign hanging over it all.”

“Smart girl.” Sam said, smiling.

She got a smile in return. “All right.” She dropped her feet down to the ground and then laced her hands together, pulling them high above her head to stretch herself out. When she finally dropped them back down, she grinned at Sam. “So, you got something to eat in this place, big sis? I’m starving.”

Sam stared down the table at her newest ally and tried not to both laugh and scowl. Usually it had been Gabriel who could manage to get that kind of reaction out of her. Meg seemed just as talented at both amusing and frustrating her.

Something told Sam things were going to be interesting with ex-demon on the team. At least they wouldn’t be dull.


	3. Chapter 3

Agreeing to work with Meg and actually doing it were two totally different things. There were things that Sam knew she had to tell her and things that she didn’t want to have to tell her yet. Over the next few days Meg has questions – plenty of them. Only some of them were Sam willing to answer. She had to give her something, though. Something to make her understand just how important this whole thing was.

Some of it finally came to a bit of a head just four days after Meg’s healing. The two women were standing in the kitchen having some breakfast as coffee with the little bit of groceries Sam had gone to pick up while Meg was sleeping last night. Meg had once more started asking questions and Sam knew she couldn’t keep putting her off.

“We need to worry about the Apocalypse first.” Sam told her firmly. “As soon as we figure out a way to get the angels to back off, _then_ we can focus on what else is coming our way. In fact, preventing the Apocalypse might even help us derail anything else that’s coming our way.” The Apocalypse had only been a link in a chain of events that ended with the Mark, with Amara. Sam’s hope was that breaking that chain might keep them from ever getting to that point. But stopping the Apocalypse of all things wasn’t going to be easy. She had to make sure she stayed alive, that Dean didn’t feel the need to make a deal, that he never had to go to hell.

“How exactly are we gonna stop the Apocalypse? You seem to know a lot about it, so you’ve got to know that Heaven and Hell both are gunning for this. They _want_ Lucifer free. How do you plan on stopping that?”

Oh yeah, she knew that. She knew just how badly they’d worked to bring this whole thing about. Just like she knew they weren’t going to be easily stopped. While Meg had been slowly settling in these past few days, Sam had been trying to plan ahead, to figure out something. Only one thing had come to mind so far and it was one thing she’d really wanted to not have to do. The idea of it made her stomach turn and her whole body tense up.

There’d been countless things so far that she’d been able to claim needed doing before this. Stopping Azazel, saving Meg, getting their finances in order, settling in to the bunker, getting food, buying a laptop for each of them – all those things had taken precedence. But now they were all done and Sam was out of excuses. This wasn’t something that she could keep putting off. Not if she wanted to prevent the future that she’d come from. Turning towards the coffee point, Sam tried to busy herself preparing a cup of coffee. “I know someone that might help.”

“Who?” Meg asked immediately, sitting up straight at the table. Her own cup of coffee was cradled in her hands, though she ignored it now as she stared at Sam.

 _I don’t want to do this. I don’t know if I can do this._ She didn’t have a choice, though. This was her best bet. Sam curled her hands around her mug and let the heat seep in to her skin in the hopes it’d chase away the chill. “You’d probably know him as the trickster god – Loki.”

She heard Meg suck in a sharp breath. Sam steeled herself to turn around and face the other woman. She found Meg staring at her with open shock on her face. “Are you kidding me? You want _his_ help?”

“I’d trust him more than I trust anyone.”

There was a stark honesty in those words that silenced Meg.

As much as it hurt, as much as it ripped her apart inside, Sam knew that she needed Gabriel. Not just because there was a giant part of her soul that was screaming for him, either. She needed him if she wanted to have any hope of stopping this. She and Gabriel had talked about it briefly before he’d sent her back. If she wanted any chance at stopping Heaven and Hell before they managed to break the first seal, her best hope would be to recruit Gabriel. It had been hard enough the last time around when it’d been just her, Dean, and Castiel. They’d barely managed to make it and they’d only done it by Sam making a sacrifice she didn’t want to have to make again. If she wanted to stop this before it could get to that point, she needed Gabriel.

Convincing _him_ of that might not be so easy.

Sam licked her lips and tried to force down the shudder that wanted to run through her. She straightened up from the edge of the counter and avoided looking at Meg as she made her way across the room. “I’ve got a pretty good idea of where to find him. It’ll take us at least a half a day to get there. If we want to get there before dark, we’ll need to head out soon. Meet me out at the car in an hour.” With no more than that, Sam left the room and her companion behind.

* * *

One hour later the two met at the car. Sam avoided looking at Meg right away; she knew what kind of look the woman was going to be giving her. Despite how she hated herself for it Sam hadn’t been able to stop from dressing up just a little bit before she left her room. She knew who she was going to see and there was a part of her that wanted desperately to look her best when she saw him.

The clothes she’d picked were from a bag of things that had been in the car originally, part of this Sam’s backup bag, not something that she’d bought since being on the run. The jeans nicely highlighted her long legs, the curve of her waist, and her backside – all things she knew Gabriel had always loved about her no matter what gender they were playing in. Her big buckle boots were on, good looking while still being practical – she had her knives tucked down inside of them. She’d given absent thought to the fact that she really, really needed to get her hands on an angel blade at some point. For her top, she’d put on the most comfortable bra that lifted her chest up enough that it perfectly put her cleavage on display in the green tank top she wore. It had thick straps and a little twist of fabric in the middle of the chest that only drew eyes there even more. It was one of the tops she’d deemed not worth wearing because it tended to ride up and flash her stomach, or dip down and show almost too much of her chest. Right now, that was kind of perfect.

Over it all she threw her dark jacket, which she made sure carried weapons in it. Once she had her wallet in there – which carried a new debit card from the bank here in town where she’d transferred some of the money from the bunker accounts, as well as some on-hand cash – she had set out to join Meg.

To her credit, Meg didn’t say anything until they were in the car and on the road. She sat there and stared at Sam for a while. Sam deliberately stared at the road. When Meg finally broke the silence, the smirk was obvious in her voice as she teasingly said “So… you and Loki, hm?”

“No.” Sam said immediately, vehemently. She tried to soften her tone when she repeated “No.” It wasn’t Meg’s fault that the idea so upset Sam. She had no idea about the past or any of it. She didn’t know about what Sam and ‘Loki’ had shared.

The softness of Sam’s tone must’ve been mistaken for a different kind of pain than what she was actually feeling. When she snuck a look at Meg, the woman had a knowing sort of smile on her face. “But you want there to be.”

How could she answer that? Neither yes nor no seemed like appropriate answers. Yes, she wanted to be with him, desperately. She wanted it with every bit of her being. Just, not with this Gabriel. She wanted _her_ Gabriel back. The one who looked at her like there was nothing more important in the whole entire world. Who wasn’t afraid to call her on her crap or to boost her back up afterwards and help her find her feet again. That was the Gabriel she wanted, and she had to remind herself that this Gabriel wasn’t him. “No.” She finally answered Meg’s question. “No, I don’t.”

It was scary just how much that felt like a lie.

“You know, you just keep getting more and more mysterious here, sis.” Meg drawled out. She lifted her arm and propped it up on the back of the seat so that she could cradle her head in her hand and better watched Sam. “It makes a girl… curious.”

Sam flashed a brief look over at her traveling companion. “You know what they say – curiosity killed the cat.”

“Good thing I’ve always been more of a dog person.”

“Meg…”

“What?” She raised her free hand defensively. It didn’t match up with the grin that she had, though. Amusement sparkled in her eyes. “Look, I’m not gonna judge, all right? You wanna go banging a pagan god, be my guest. I’ll even play wingman. I mean, what kind of sister would I be if I didn’t try to get you laid, huh?”

Even knowing that Meg only used the term to irritate her, it took a lot for Sam not to grit her teeth at the use of ‘sister’. “I don’t need your help getting laid, especially not with him! I’m not planning on having sex with him!”

“Hm. Tell that to the ‘fuck me’ clothes you put on, Sammi.”

It was hard not to blush at that. Sam knew what she looked like and she knew the image she was putting off at the moment. Was there any crime in wanting to look good when she went to see Gabriel? Just because it wasn’t her Gabriel and he had no idea about the relationship they’d shared in Sam’s timeline didn’t mean that she had to look bad when she went to see him! Even if he didn’t look at her with the same look that he’d always worn for her, she could at least enjoy the light of appreciation in his eyes. Was that really a crime?

Trying to ignore Meg’s knowing smirk, Sam reached out and flicked the radio on, using a move her brother had used against her plenty of times and turning the volume up loud enough to stop any further conversation. It didn’t stop her from hearing the ex-demon’s light laughter, though.

* * *

By the time they arrived in Springfield, Ohio, Sam’s nerves were back full force. She somehow kept her hands steady on the wheel of the car as she pulled the car into a parking space and finally put it in park. Twelve hours in the car had given her plenty of time to think. Especially once Meg had curled up and gone to sleep in the passenger’s seat. Sam had spent the rest of the trip with the radio down low and her own thoughts for company. During that time she’d come up with countless different plans on how they could do this. She’d gone through them all and dismissed quite a few of them.

If Gabriel were here the way she suspected he was – he’d told her before that he’d worked at Crawford Hall for a while before the Winchesters had come across him – she had to be careful about how she approached him. He would recognize her soul instantly and would know she was a Winchester. If he paid as much attention as he had in her timeline, he’d know who she was but he wouldn’t know the major details yet. He hadn’t been paying that close of attention to their lives. Not until he’d met them and realized that the vessels had been born.

Ambushing Gabriel somewhere on campus was a recipe for disaster. He wouldn’t react well to being ambushed, well, anywhere really. No, their best bet was to find somewhere to go and wait for him to come to them. Only, how were they going to do that? They couldn’t just pick a place and hope for the best. Sam didn't want to spend any longer here than she absolutely had to.

Only one idea had come to mind during the trip. It was one she thought her Gabriel would’ve approved of.

After a moment of simply sitting there, gathering her courage, Sam finally reached into her bag and pulled out paper and a pen. She jotted down a quick note before folding it and sticking it in her pocket. Then she put the pen away and turned to face Meg. With one hand she reached out and shook her companion away. “Hey, wake up. We’re here.”

Meg lashed out as she woke and Sam easily dodged the blow that was sent her way. She saw dark eyes snap open and a second later the haze over them cleared and realization kicked in. There was a brief flash of something that looked like regret when Meg realized that she’d actually struck out at her. She quickly buried that and turned it into a glare. “Did you really have to shake me just to wake me up?”

One corner of Sam’s mouth quirked up. “Yep.”

“You’re such a little bitch.”

In the back of Sam’s mind she heard a different voice, deeper and full of fond amusement. _Bitch._ She had to press her lips together to keep back the instinctive ‘jerk’ that wanted to slip out.

A pasted on smile hid anything that Sam was really feeling inside. Holding to that, she started to unhook her seatbelt. “I need to go in and drop something off in here and then we’ve got to go get a few things ready. I shouldn’t be but just a minute or so.” She shot one last look at Meg, lifting a hand to point at her and warn her “Behave!” and then she was opening her door and sliding out of the car. As she shut it behind her she could hear Meg calling out “I make no promises!”

The words had just a hint of a smile touching Sam’s lips. She kept herself turned away so that Meg wouldn’t see it. There were some times the woman seemed like she was trying to drive Sam up the wall and other times that her antics reminded Sam so much of Dean she couldn’t help but laugh at her. She found herself enjoying the company a lot more than she’d anticipated. It… helped, having someone with her. Not being alone. Sam had never dealt well with being alone. Even if it was probably smarter that she was, she’d never dealt well with it. That was always when she got in the most trouble. When the worst things happened.

Having Meg at her back wasn’t anywhere near as good as having Dean there. For now, it would do. But Sam couldn’t help but miss her brother’s presence. She was sort of used to the pain of missing him, the grief that came with his absence, but it was stronger here. Because _this_ Dean wasn’t gone. He was still very much alive. Alive, and probably wondering and worrying about her.  By now Bobby had to have not only found the body on his property but called it in to John or Dean, or both. They’d know that Yellow Eyes was dead. It wouldn’t surprise Sam if Dean went to go find her at Stanford to tell her the news. That was big. Worthy of a visit at least. What would he do when he got there and found her gone? What would he think? Would he put the pieces together?

Sam shook those worries out of her head and forced herself to focus. She had something she needed to do right now and she needed to not get caught doing it.

Slipping down into the staff area of the college was easy. She was surprised just how much of this place she honestly remembered. Then again, was it any surprise that any memories with Gabriel were strong ones? Ones that she still remembered even after the countless – _thousands –_ of years that had passed since then. She easily slipped down there and found the locker that belonged to him. It took a lot to not linger there. There was a sort of creepy part of her that wanted to snatch one of the shirts that she found in there. Only by repeatedly reminding herself of just how creepy that was did she manage not to do it. She just pulled out the note she’d written and left it in there before shutting the locker and walking away. The whole thing was going rather well. In, out, no problems at all.

That right there should’ve been her clue.

She was halfway back to the car when the one thing she’d been hoping wouldn’t happen finally _did_.

Sam’s breath caught in her throat as she saw the familiar silhouette in the distance. It only took a second before it shifted into something clearer. She thought she’d prepared herself for what the sight of him might do to her. She should’ve known that _nothing_ could prepare her.

Seeing Gabriel walking down the street, seeing him smile and greet someone that he passed by – that little half skip to his step, the smirk on his lips, even that stupid janitor’s outfit – it hit her like a slap to the face. That was _Gabriel._ Her Gabriel. Right in front of her, walking down the street, not even looking her way. He didn’t seem to see her at all. And that – that was so wrong. Gabriel always saw her. In a crowded room with thousands of people around he would always have one eye on her. He always knew the instant she entered a room and the minute she left. But this… he wasn’t seeing her at all. He didn’t see her, and she couldn’t feel him. There was nothing in the dead bond where there should’ve been so much!

She felt a sob tear up her throat and quickly slapped a hand over her mouth to stop it. Oh, God. Any control she had hoped to have here was gone. Her eyes closed as the grief welled up inside of her and threatened to drown her. On the breeze she heard the sound of a familiar laugh and another sob broke free.

She wasn’t even aware that she was moving, that she’d been stepping backwards, until she stumbled right into someone. Her eyes shot open as the person cursed at her and somehow she managed to stammer out her apologies and try to walk away. She only made it a few steps when her knees gave out beneath her and she sank down onto the low wall beside her. One hand still pressed over her mouth, she curled her other arm around her waist and held on tightly, fingers fisting into the fabric of her sweater. Tears filled her eyes that she couldn’t stop. Inside, the empty place where Gabriel should be gave a painful throb and she felt another sob push forward. _Gabriel_.

“Woah, hey, are you okay?” A voice asked her. Sam went completely still at the sound of that voice, registering it even through the roaring in her ears. She would always recognize that voice. A hand settled gently on her shoulder and she heard him move forward. “Miss, are you all right? Did he hurt you?”

Sam didn’t want to open her eyes. She didn’t want to look up into the face that she knew she would find there. Yet she’d already proved what a glutton for pain she was simply by coming here. How could she resist looking up into the face she ached to see every single day?

Gabriel stood over her looking down with such honest concern on his face. His eyebrows were drawn down and his lips were pursed in that way that told her he really _was_ worried, though he was also a little suspicious. That was most likely because he knew who she was. Her Gabriel had told her that he’d recognized her the instant he’d seen her. While lesser angels had to reach inside a human to check their soul, archangels were capable of seeing them without any help, and Gabriel had seen theirs and recognized them instantly. It made sense that this Gabriel would recognize her as well.

However, while he may have recognized her, he didn’t look at her with the true recognition that she wanted to see. He didn’t have that mocking light she’d grown used to when they dealt with him during the apocalypse, nor the loving one that he’d had since the day he’d come back. None of that was there now. Just worry and caution. That broke her even more. Sliding her hand off her mouth, down to cup her throat, Sam could only shake her head to answer his question. No, the man she’d bumped into hadn’t hurt her. _You did._

Fresh tears rolled down Sam’s cheeks and she dropped her head just enough for her hair to hide her face while still allowing her to look up at him, unable to bring herself to look away.

 _Get yourself together, Sam!_ She scolded herself furiously. _Seeing him was the whole reason for coming here! You knew you were going to see him. You know it! So quit sitting here and sobbing, suck it up, and stick to the plan!_

The pep talk didn’t work half as well as she hoped it would. She couldn’t bring herself to get up and walk away. But somehow managed to make herself croak out the words “I’m s-sorry.” Swallowing again, she pressed her lips together, wanting to both beg him to go and cling to him to make sure he stayed. “I, I’m fine. I just…” More tears poured down and she tried in vain to blink them away.

Gabriel made a soft snorting sound and lowered himself down into a squat beside her. His hand never left her shoulder. “Sure you’re fine. It’s all the rage for pretty girls to sit on walls and cry in public. I hear the Queen of England does it at least once a week.”

A shaky laugh bubbled up her throat.

Reaching down with his free hand, Gabriel pulled something out of his pocket. A second later he offered it to her. She looked with surprise at the handkerchief that he was holding. She must’ve stared a moment too long because he made an amused sound. “It’s clean, I promise. I haven’t started work yet today, so you don’t have to worry I wiped anything down with it.”

“My brother used to do that.” She found herself blurting out. She wasn’t sure why. Why was she telling him this? Somehow, the words just came, pouring out of her. “Usually his had some kind of engine grease or something on it, though.” He’d done it plenty of times. Somehow he’d always had a handkerchief on him. The memories from this timeline showed him using them to dry her tears, to wipe her nose, to clean up a wound. The memories from her own timeline were of him wiping noses, bandaging injuries, or even tying it around Sam’s arm when he was shot and bleeding.

Gabriel smiled at her. “Well, mine doesn’t have any of that. But hopefully it’ll still do the job.” He lifted the handkerchief and pressed it down into her hand, his touch gentle.

Sam couldn’t help the way her lips quirked up. “Thank you.”

“What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t stop for a beautiful lady in distress?”

The flirting remark was so, so _typical_ , so _Gabriel,_ Sam let out a small laugh and responded before she could stop herself. “Whoever said you’re a gentleman?” The minute the words were out of her mouth Sam realized who she was talking to. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open even as she flushed in horrified embarrassment. This wasn’t her Gabriel, she couldn’t tease with him the same way she could with hers. Eyes on his surprised face, she hurried to stammer out an apology. “Oh man, I’m so sorry, that was completely uncalled for.”

“I’m not sure if I should be amused or offended.” Gabriel said, his voice dry.

The color in Sam’s cheeks deepened and she wanted to drop her head down. Between her hands she clenched the cloth that he’d given her before to wipe her face. “Please, I’m so sorry. I didn’t really mean anything against you, not at all. I didn’t, I didn’t think before I spoke. You, you just… remind me of someone.”

One of Gabriel’s eyebrows arched up and it was clear that he didn’t quite believe her. “That so?”

Sam nodded her head quickly. Another lump built in her throat, one that she had a hard time swallowing down. It left her voice hoarse once more and full of emotion that she couldn’t make go away. “Yeah. You… you look like him in a way.” Just, younger, if that made sense for an archangel who couldn’t age. It was true, though. This version of Gabriel seemed younger. Still jaded, yes, but still young and on the run. He hadn’t been through the Apocalypse yet. He hadn’t _died_ yet. The difference it made on him was astounding.

Something in her words must’ve conveyed her sincerity. Sam watched as Gabriel visibly softened. “They were important to you?”

“More than my own life.” Sam whispered. The tears welled up again and Sam cursed herself for not being able to stop it. Was it something to do with being in a female body this time, making her somehow more susceptible to tears? Or was it something to do with the bond and the way its loss resonated inside her?

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you.”

Anything else that might been said between them was lost when another voice suddenly called out Sam’s name and drew both their attention. “Sam! Sami!”

Sam looked up to find Meg hurrying her direction. The look on Meg’s face had Sam sitting up a little straighter and mentally cursing. It was clear that Meg had taken one look at them and made assumptions – assumptions that were going to cause quite a bit of trouble. Sure enough, Meg was snarling at Gabriel before Sam could even say anything to try and stop her. “Get your hands off my sister, you son of a bitch.” Her hand was already twitching towards her jacket like she was going to grab a knife and Sam knew it was a very likely possibility.

“Woah, woah!” Gabriel held his hands out and rose from beside Sam, obviously trying to look as nonthreatening as possible, though Sam knew he wasn’t the least bit threatened by Meg’s presence. “Calm down there, firecracker. I wasn’t doing anything but talking to your… sister.”

The pause was only a small one but it was enough of one for both girls to catch on to. Sam knew why – she knew that Gabriel knew full well Sam didn’t have any sisters. Not unless Adam had managed to be changed into a girl in this timeline as well. But Meg just took it as an off sense and glared even harder at him. In total opposite of that, she used her most cheerful tone – which was incidentally her most dangerous one – as she told him “You shut your mouth before I give in to the urge to stab you in the face.”

“Meg…”

But Meg wasn’t done. Her gaze shot back and forth between the two of them and she seemed to ocme to the realization of just who it was that Sam was talking to. Unfortunately, not knowing Sam’s plan or really much of anything about this, she had no idea to keep her mouth shut and she blurted out the last thing that Sam wanted her to say. “Oh you’ve got to be kidding me! _Him_?” Meg gestured with one hand towards Gabriel, her other hand resting protectively on Sam’s shoulder. “ _This_ is the guy you wanted to come meet with? Seriously?”

Every single inch of Gabriel’s body locked down in an instant. Sam fought back the urge to sigh. She curled her hands tight into the little scrap of cloth that she was holding and she wished for a moment that she could strangle Meg with it. “Thank you, Meg.” Sam said between clenched teeth. Then, before Gabriel could run or cause any sort of trouble, Sam looked up at him and tried to speak past the lump in her throat that built at the sight of his blank face. “This wasn’t how I wanted this to go. I know you know who I am, just as I know who you are – Loki. I promise you, I’m not here for trouble. But I’ve got something to say I think you’re really going to want to hear.”

“Somehow I doubt that.” Gabriel snapped. Most of his face was still blank. His eyes, though. His eyes were furious. “So this?” With one hand he gestured at her, taking in everything with a simple sweep of his hand. “This was a ploy to get me close?”

Pain flashed over Sam’s face. She curled one hand in without even noticing it, pressing it in against the mark hidden underneath her clothes. “No.” Nothing else, no other explanations. Just, no.

The simplicity of it seemed to make her words more believable. Gabriel relaxed, but only marginally.

“I understand if you don’t want to meet with us.” Sam said, regaining herself a little once more. She reached up and caught hold of Meg’s arm, using it to help brace as she straightened up on shaking legs. “I get that. Not just hunters, but a Winchester? Not exactly someone that anyone wants to meet with. But I made a promise to someone that I’d do everything in my power to pass on a message to you. So please, if you could just spare us five minutes of your time. We can get a drink, sit down, and I’ll pass along what I’ve got to say. What you do with the information after that is your own business. Just… just five minutes. Please.”

The way he was looking at her left Sam feeling like the archangel was staring straight down inside of her. For all she knew, he could be. The idea was sort of intimidating, even knowing that her own Gabriel had seen so much more of her. She couldn’t help but wonder what she looked like to this Gabriel. Could he see the age on her soul? The damage there? Had she come to this body with the same damaged soul or was her soul as fresh as it had originally been back in Stanford? And would he be able to tell?

Gabriel’s eyes finally lifted to hers and Sam felt her breath catch in her throat. “Five minutes.”

Relief and fear both washed through Sam. “Thank you.”

They’d gotten past the first hurdle. Gabriel had agreed to sit and talk with them. That was the first step and potentially the most difficult. The rest… it’d be hard on her, yes. Hard to say and hard to share. Hard to see how it would affect him. But she didn’t doubt what decision he’d come to in the end. First she just had to take his world and toss it on its head. She just hoped he didn’t hate her when it was all said and done.


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn’t that surprising that Gabriel chose a nearby bar as neutral ground for them to speak on. She hadn’t expected him to take them someplace private, nor had she wanted him to. That would’ve left them too much at his mercy. Not that she thought he would hurt her – she just knew how volatile this version of him was. What they had to talk about wasn’t going to make him happy.

None of them said anything until they were all seated at a corner table with their drinks in hand. All around them college kids were talking and laughing. Drinking. They wouldn’t be paying any real attention to the trio in the corner. That was perfect. The coming conversation wasn’t going to be an easy one.

Gabriel started it; no real surprise there. “You’ve got five minutes, starting now, to tell me whatever it is you want to say. An it had better be good.” Under that was a threat that was clear for Sam. One that made it clear what would happen when those five minutes were up if what she had to say wasn’t ‘good’.

There were so many ways that she had thought of to have this conversation. Different things she’d thought of and discarded when she tried to figure out what to say and how to say it. She’d run through so many scenarios, yet none of them seemed to fit now that she was here. It was hard to think of much of anything when she had to sit here and stare at the mate of her soul – who didn’t even recognize her. Not the way she wanted him to. It took a lot of effort to keep her voice under control when she spoke. “You’re not going to like what I have to say.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m already not liking this whole thing.” Gabriel said, almost purring as he spoke. That was his dangerous tone, one that Sam easily recognized.

Meg made a low sound in her throat and she twitched like she wanted once more to reach for a blade. Only the hand Sam laid on her arm kept her from doing so. She was proving startlingly protective of Sam. It was something that bore thinking about later. For the moment, Sam stared at Gabriel, drinking in his features. In the end she found herself blurting out the words she’d tried so hard to plan before. “I know about Heaven and Hell’s plans for the Apocalypse.” She saw his eyes widen just briefly and knew that she’d caught him off guard. She didn’t stop, though. “I know about Azazel and what he did to me, and I know why. I know what I am and I know what Dean is.”

Each word she said had Gabriel’s eyebrows climbing a little higher. There was a momentary debate on his face that Sam was sure was him trying to decide whether to go along with what she was saying or play dumb. He took a sip off his drink to give himself time to think. Then he sat back in his chair and smoothed out his expression before lifting one eyebrow almost lazily at her. “Is that so?”

“It is. I also know that someone’s going to try and kill me in the hopes of getting Dean to make a deal so he’ll have to go to Hell.” She paused, a small shudder running through her as old words welled up in her memory. “ _ And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break _ .”

That was almost enough to break through Gabriel’s calm mask. Only because she knew him well was she able to see the way his fingers clenched briefly on his glass or how he rolled his shoulder, a gesture she knew he did when agitated and trying to resettle ruffling wings. He cocked his head at her and the look he wore was his most amused, smug trickster face. It hurt so damn much to see it directed at her. “Now, where’d a pretty thing like you hear those words?”

The compliments and hints about her good looks were made to throw her off, she knew. He was trying to throw her off her game and unsettle her, maybe even upset her, hoping she’d give more information. She didn’t rise to the bait. “I’m smarter than I look.”

“Hm.” He hummed disbelievingly. “I don’t know what exactly you want here. Confirmation of your words?” After taking another drink, he shrugged one shoulder. “You act like you know me. If you do, you know I’m not stepping in that shit storm, not even for a pretty thing like you.” He lifted his glass, toasting her with it, and then he set it down on the table and made as if to rise. “If this garbage was all you had to say, you’ve wasted your time here, Winchester. Not my pantheon, not my problem. But, ah, have fun.” Pushing up to his feet, he made a gun shape with his fingers and pointed it at her. “Good luck with the whole fighting destiny shtick.”

There was no doubt in Sam’s mind that Gabriel was getting ready to run. He’d heard enough to know that this was something that, at this time in his life, he didn’t want to get involved in. He was still hiding and here she was, bringing information right to him, trying to pull him into something he wanted to be left out of. He was going to run unless she found a way to make him stay. With a deep breath and a prayer that she wasn’t making a mistake laying out her cards this early, Sam opened her mouth and said one single word. One word she knew would change it all.

“Amara.”

It was the word that Sam had held in reserve. The one she knew would get his attention. There was no way he wasn’t going to react to it. It was a word Sam shouldn’t know – that only the archangels and their Father should know.

Sure enough, the sound of it had him stopping in his tracks. His expression was stunned. Eyebrows up, eyes wide, mouth open ever so slightly. Then it all shut down under a look much more appropriate for the trickster. His eyebrows drew down and his whole expression turned suspicious. “Where did you hear that?”

Sam didn’t let his tone frighten her. She knew him too well to be afraid. Even if this version of him was different, he couldn’t be  _ that _ different. “She’s the reason I’m here.” Then, taking an even bigger risk, she lifted her eyebrows right back at him and added “Where did you hear her name,  _ Loki _ ?” She put a little extra emphasis on his name in a way she knew he’d catch. She was letting him know with that statement that she knew exactly who he was. It was a risk – a  _ huge _ risk – and one that she hoped paid off.

There was barely any pause before she saw the realization start to light up his eyes. He put one hand on the back of his chair and his eyes ran over her in an openly assessing look. When they settled on her face once more, she could see the truth he’d realized even before he said it out loud. “You’re from a different timeline.”

Beside her, Meg made a low noise of surprise. Obviously this wasn’t something she’d thought of in all of her theories. Well, she would get some of her answers now. As would Gabriel. “Yep.” Sam couldn’t help herself; she drew the word out a little and made sure to put a pop on the ‘p’, just the way that Gabriel used to do to her all the time. Then she flashed him a smirk she’d picked up off him as well. “And  _ you _ sent me here hoping we could fix the past so she never has to get free.”

In the space of a breath, every person in the bar froze. Meg startled, wide eyes looking around at the casual display of power. He’d just frozen  _ time _ around them. Sam didn’t even blink. She just watched Gabriel’s face.

“Dad dammit.” The trickster swore. He shoved away from his chair and paced in the frozen bar. When he spun back, he looked furious. “What did you Winchesters do?”

The accusation hurt, even if it was true. They’d done so much.  _ So _ much. There was no denying their fault in this. That didn’t mean it was easy to speak about, though, even if she tried to make herself sound more relaxed than she actually was. “We broke the world a couple of times. Fixed it, too. But there was no fixing this one.” They’d run out of whatever luck had always helped them. Sam thought of Dean and Castiel, of the darkness falling over the world. She thought of her Gabriel looking so broken hearted as he gave her the only sort of hope that he could. Those memories thickened her voice just slightly. “Right now, this is kind of our Hail Mary. Our last bit of hope. With or without you, I’m going to make it work. But it’d be a helluva lot easier with you on our side.”

“So those are my choices? Go up against my family and likely die in the attempt, or sit back and wait for Auntie Amara to destroy everything? Wow. You’re one hell of a gal to hang around, Sami girl.”

“You’re the one that told me to come find you.” She told him. “In fact, you told me to give you a good kick in the ass.”  _ Don’t let him sit on the sidelines. _ Her Gabriel had said.  _ You shouldn’t be alone. _ The memory of those last words was like a fist to the gut. It hurt more than ever. Because right here, right now, staring at this younger version of Gabriel, it was clear to Sam just how alone she really was. Gabriel was right here in front of her and yet, at the same time, he wasn’t.

It was too much. So far she’d held on to her control far better than she’d thought she would. She’d managed to get through this with only one real freak out. But if she had to sit here any longer she knew she was going to break again. She had to get out of here before that happened. With that in mind, she drew in a breath to steady herself and then pushed up to her feet. “I tell you what.” She grabbed a napkin off the table and then shamelessly leant over and stole a pen out of his pocket. Bending over the napkin, she scribbled down her number. “This is a lot I’ve dumped on you. You think about it, an when you make a decision or you want to talk, give me a call.” With a smile she held out both pen and napkin to him, enjoying the amused way he was looking at her.

“You do realize you’re not exactly hard to find. I don’t  _ need _ a phone to get a hold of you.” Still, he took the napkin from her.

Sam smirked and gestured for Meg to rise as well. “We’ll see about that.” That was all she said before she caught hold of Meg’s arm and pulled her towards the exit. Sam gave Gabriel one last smile and wave. “See you soon,  _ Gabe _ .”

Nothing happened to them as they left the bar. When they walked outside, nothing was frozen, people still wandering around here and there. Sam kept her hold on Meg and led her through the crowds and back towards where their car was parked. Her companion didn’t say a word until they were actually inside the car once more and buckled. Then Meg turned to stare at her and loudly demanded “Are you suicidal? Or just insane?”

Sam shrugged one shoulder and put the key in the ignition. “I’ve been accused of both plenty of times.”

“You said he was a trickster!”

“And outside of his warding or the bunker, that’s all you better refer to him as.” Sam warned her. She needed to make that clear. “You heard the name I called him at the end. If there’s any chance that anyone from either team hears that name, or the things I said in there, we’re going to be in for a world of trouble. So mind what you say.”

“You’re insane.” Meg breathed out. “You’re completely insane.”

With another shrug, Sam put the car into gear and backed slowly out of their parking space. She needed to get out of here. The further away from Gabriel she got, the better her control felt. Sniping with Meg helped a little, too, the same as it had always helped to bicker with Dean when stressed. “So what does it say about you that you still got in the car with me?”

Meg snorted. “Clearly I’m insane, too.” She paused and Sam waited quietly, wondering what Meg was going to say next. She wasn’t expecting the ex-demon to sigh heavily and slump down in her seat, or for her to ask a simple “Where are we going now?”

More and more often Meg was surprising her. This human version of her seemed to be a lot like all the good parts of the demon Sam had once known, only just a bit  _ more _ . She was nothing like Sam had expected – she was also infinitely  _ better _ .

A real smile ghosted over Sam’s lips. She snuck a look at her passenger and then faced forward as she put the car into drive. “We’re going to get tattoos.”

As she listened to Meg start to demand answers beside her, and watched the road open up in front of her, a part of Sam was focused back on the place and the being they had just left. She’d done it – she’d made it through a meeting with Gabriel. She hadn’t been sure that she would. It had hurt. God, had it hurt! There was a part of her that was still aching to turn right back around and hunt him down and then jump on him and not ever let him go. She had to keep reminding herself that he wasn’t the same. They didn’t have the history that she’d had with her Gabriel. He didn’t know everything about her that the other version of him had. To him, she was little Sami Winchester, destined girl to start the Apocalypse and house the Devil. She was a piece on the chessboard and nothing more.

_ “We won’t share the same history you an I do, but I promise you, Sammy, he’s still me. An there’s not a single version of me that isn’t made to love you.” _

_ It’s not the same _ , she wanted to tell him.  _ It’s not the same at all. I miss you so much, Gabriel. It hurts without you. It hurts to look at this version of you and not have you see me. But... I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever I can to stop all this from happening all over again. I’ll make you proud of me, I swear it. _

No matter what it took. Even if it meant breaking her heart over and over again by working with this other Gabriel, she’d do it. He’d always said she was so strong. It was time she started to live up to it.

 


	5. Chapter 5

The sound of the tattoo gun whirring behind her was a surprisingly soothing sound. Sam lay underneath the needles and kept herself perfectly still as they pumped ink into the skin on her bare back. It hurt – she wouldn’t deny that. But she’d been through a whole lot worse. Honestly, if it weren’t for Meg being here to talk to her, there was a good chance she would’ve already fallen asleep lying here.

This was her third session here and it looked like they were finally going to be done this time. They would’ve been done sooner if Sam had had her way. She’d wanted longer sessions – had even offered more money. Eric – the artist currently drawing on her skin – had refused, though. “People need breaks.” He’d insisted when she’d tried to argue. “I don’t care how high your pain tolerance is. You need breaks, and I need to make sure I’ve got a steady hand. The last thing you need is for me to draw one of these wrong. Besides, the ink I use, it’s better to let it set in. Makes it more effective.”

There was a reason she’d chosen this artist over any others. Last time around, Dean had taken her to Eric, insisting that he was not only well versed in the supernatural world, but a damn good artist. Dean had been right on both counts. So this time around, Sam hadn’t even hesitated to bring her business here. She’d made a good choice. One listen to the idea she wanted and he’d known exactly what type of person she was and what she was doing, and he’d adjusted his plans accordingly. He’d worked with her on what she wanted and made sure that everything was perfectly drawn before he got to work. He’d also explained that he had his own protections woven into the ink that he used that gave it that little extra punch, allowing the tattoo to heal a little better. Eric even insisted that it would help her back heal better from a lot of minor injuries as well.

Unfortunately, while the process of the tattoo itself was kind of soothing, the grumbling from Sam’s companion was _not_.

“I don’t understand the point of this.” Meg declared, for what had to be at least the hundredth time. She leaned forward and folded her arms to rest across her knees so she could drop her chin down and better watch them.

Sam rolled her eyes behind closed lids. When she opened them again, she gave Meg a dry look. “So you’ve said. Plenty. What I don’t get is _why_.”

“What’s the point of these? All it takes is a knife, or even a bad hunt, and the whole damn thing is ruined.”

Behind her, Sam could hear Eric let out a small snort. It brought a smile to Sam’s lips. Apparently Eric hadn’t just recognized the symbols as something for a hunter – he knew what a few of them were. She was willing to bet that judging by his snort of disbelief at Meg’s words.

But just as apparent was that Meg _hadn’t_. “I’ve got multiple protections in here, Meg. Not just the big anti-possession symbol. There’s a ton of warding written into each little piece of this, as well as a little extra mojo in the ink, all of which mixes together to make sure that it takes more than just a simple cut to break through it. Even if someone cut right across the anti-possession symbol, they’d have to break down every single bit of this tattoo to get inside me, or peel the skin right off my back.”

“You act like a demon would hesitate to do it.” Meg pointed out.

That was true. Sam almost shrugged her shoulder, just barely remembering to hold it still. “If I’m at the point where my skin’s being flayed from my back, I’m in a bit more trouble than just worrying about possession. I’ve fought off being possessed before. Push comes to shove, I can do it again.” Not that she wanted to. But if she could fight off _Lucifer_ , then a regular demon would be nothing. Besides, she had a bit of an ace up her sleeve, one that she wasn’t quite sure would still work.

When she and Gabriel had bonded back in her timeline, he’d told her that the bond and his mark would prevent her from being able to be possessed. That he’d literally fused a tiny bit of grace into her soul. If the mark had transferred with her, it made sense that some of that bond had come as well. If it had, any demon that tried to possess her was in for a rude awakening. If it hadn’t, well – she’d find out when the time came now wouldn’t she?

“There, all done.”

Sam straightened herself up on the seat while Eric went and grabbed something off the table. He brought it back over with him and Sam saw that it was a mirror. “Here, take a look.” The artist told her. Then he lifted the mirror up and angled it just right that Sam was able to use it to look at the mirror that was behind her. It gave her a perfect view of her tattoo and she sucked in a sharp breath. “Eric – it’s amazing!”

It really, truly was. The man had taken the simple design she’d come up with and worked _wonders_ with it. When Sam had come in here, she’d had a basic idea for the anti-possession symbol and a bunch of Enochian warding symbols that she’d pulled out from memory and research. She and Eric had talked and talked and finally settled on a design that Sam had been sure would be at least decent. Looking at it now, she was so glad she’d trusted his artistic streak and just sort of let him loose.

On her back was a giant set of broken down wings. The bottom tip of the primary feathers rested on the top swell of her backside. They were like angel wings, only, not quite. They reminded Sam a bit of what Lucifer’s wings had looked like. Or Castiel’s, after everything he’d been through for them. Broken and shedding in some places, some of the feathers falling loose to rest at the base of her spine, some of them twisted and turned a little or half broken, some even singed. They were wings that showed signs of damage, of having been through actual Hell. They were a reminder to her of what she’d been through, what she’d lost, and what she was trying to prevent.

In the middle of the wings, over her spine, sat the basic anti-possession symbol. But that wasn’t where the best warding, the _real_ warding, was. Eric had amazingly done what she’d been a bit hesitant on him being able to do. Inside of each feather, carefully hidden and beautifully detailed, was a ton of Enochian warding. She had to look closely to see it but she could faintly make out the symbols. They looked like they’d been drawn into each and every feather on her back. Sam swore she could feel some of the power of it sitting there in her skin, sinking straight down into her bones.

“Eric, you did an amazing job.” Sam praised him. She looked up at him and gifted him with one of her rare smiles, deep enough to show her dimples.

Meg let out a low whistle as she looked the tattoo over. “She’s right. That is _gorgeous_.”

The artist preened a little under their praise. “You paid for the best. It was my job to deliver.”

“Well you most definitely did.” Sam assured him.

It took about fifteen more minutes for them to get through the wrap up process. She was bandaged, given care instructions – that Meg listened to as well, seeing as how she’d be able to reach some spots better than Sam would – and then the two were on their way out of there. Sam’s back was aching, a feeling she knew was going to get worse before it got better tonight, but it was worth it. This whole experience had been worth it. She was as protected as she could possibly be at the moment. Meg was too, with her new anti-possession symbol and the little tribal band that Sam and Eric had designed for her ankle with its bits of warding thrown in. They were as protected as they were going to be.

With Sam’s back so sore, she was relegated to sitting sideways in the passenger’s seat while Meg drove. “That’s a lot of warding you guys put in there.” Meg commented, putting the car into gear and slowly backing out.

Sam laid her head against the headrest and let her eyes drift shut. She’d come to trust Meg enough to drive her places without having to watch every move she made. “There’re a lot of things that’re after me.”

“This’ll really help?”

“Yeah. It’s not perfect, but… it’s better than nothing.” Carefully, Sam shrugged one shoulder. “There’s no such thing as perfect protection out there. At least with this we won’t be completely exposed anymore.”

They were quiet for pretty much the rest of the ride home. It wasn’t until they’d parked up front and were climbing out of the car – it was a little easier for Sam to come in here than deal with the garage and all the stairs that would come afterwards at the moment – before Meg spoke up again. Even turned away from her, Sam could hear the smirk in Meg’s voice as she teasingly said “I bet Eric’s gonna miss working on you, though. No more free strip shows for him.”

Behind closed lids Sam rolled her eyes. It wasn’t the first time Meg had teased her about it and it wouldn’t be the last. In that area, the ex-demon was almost worse than Dean. Opening her eyes, Sam turned to glare across the hood at her friend. “It wasn’t a free strip show, for the millionth time.”

“Sounds like I miss a helluva party.” A third voice chimed in.

There was only a small amount of surprise in Sam at the sound of that voice. She’d been so sure that she’d have to get a phone call first. Yet when she turned, there was Gabriel leaning against a nearby tree, watching the two of them with a smirk on his lips and a leer easily read on his features. Sam wanted nothing more than to smile back at him. She had to fight down the urge and instead focus on the fact that he was _here_. That knowledge had her entire body going tense. “How did you find us?”

Her tone carried an urgency that Gabriel must’ve been able to easily pick up on. His smirk grew a little and he blew on his hand before buffing his knuckles on his shirt. His eyes, however, had carried a hint of something else to them as he looked up through his lashes at Sam. “If you really know me, you should know better than to underestimate me, Sami girl.”

“I’m not underestimating you.” Sam snapped in a voice a lot sharper than she’d meant. Her hands clenched into fists at her side and she was tense, body ready to bolt. “ _Nothing_ should be able to get beyond the wards I have. If they can, I need to know and I need to get out of here, now.”

Gabriel dropped his hands down and slipped them into his pockets as he pushed off the tree. He was watching her even more intently now. Yet his smirk and saunter were completely casual and relaxed. It was such a contrast to the intensity she could see hidden in his eyes. “Oh don’t get your panties in a twist.” He mocked her, coming close enough that it made Meg brace herself and let out a low growl. The archangel just cast her an amused look and then focused back on Sam. His eyes were sharp as they watched her. “I got here in a terrifyingly human way. I tracked your cell phone.”

There was a brief pause as the words sunk in. It hadn’t been the wards, hadn’t been her new warding on her back – _it wasn’t their bond, somehow transferring over to this world –_ it’d just been a simple, human method he’d fallen back on because he couldn’t find her without it. “You tracked my cell phone.” She breathed the words out on a sigh of relief that turned into a low, delighted laugh. He’d _tracked her cell phone_. They were still safe here. They were safe.

“Don’t rub it in.” Gabriel snipped. He looked utterly disgusted with having to be reduced to tracking her down by human methods.

That set Sam more at ease than anything else. Even if this Gabriel wasn’t hers, he was still essentially the same being, and seeing those familiar mannerisms helped provide Sam with a sense of calm she hadn’t had since she’d arrived here. The pain was still there – she had a feeling it wouldn’t ever go away. But she’d had enough time now to be able to function around it. To _breathe_. She did so now, drawing in a steadying breath and blowing it back out. Then she squared her shoulders, not wincing at the pull on her new tattoo, and she lifted her chin in a posture her Gabriel would’ve recognized at Sam preparing to meet something head on she wasn’t sure was going to go well. “I assume you being here means you want to talk.”

“Aren’t you the smart one?” Gabriel almost cooed it at her.

Meg let out a soft snarl at that. “Watch it, buddy.”

“Or what?” He turned his smile towards her and it was cold and mocking. His eyes ran down her body and back up again. “Looking a little flaccid there, sweet cheeks. Downside of being human again. Not that you were all that scary before.”

Meg opened her mouth and Sam just knew this was going to get nasty. She pushed away from the car and stepped between the two of them to hold her hands out to either side of her and stop them. For a moment she channeled her brother as she glared from one to the other. “All right, you two. Stow your crap. We’re not here so the two of you can have a metaphorical ‘big dick’ contest. We get it, you’re all powerful.” She directed that part to Gabriel, adding on “And a dick” before she turned to look at Meg. “And you don’t like him. _I get it_. But there are way more important things than either of your egos right now. So why don’t we put it away and go inside and actually talk about what we’re going to do instead of standing here arguing until someone notices one of us?”

That took the wind out of their sails. Meg sneered, but she turned to head towards the front door. Sam let her hands drop and tried not to sigh. This was going to be an even bigger pain than she’d expected it to be.

Her worry didn’t lessen when she looked up to find that Gabriel was staring over where Meg was opening the door, a blank look on his face. His eyes, though – his eyes were flashing in an almost dark sort of way as they moved back towards her. “I can feel the opening in the wards right now. You can’t hide those from me.” His voice dropped down low and became heavy with threat. “You better not be planning a trap. I’m not an enemy you want, Samantha Winchester.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sam said lowly. He was the last person she wanted as an enemy. “There’s nothing in those wards that’ll stop you from leaving, or hurt you to walk through. You’ve got my word on that.”

The look he gave her was clearly skeptical.

Sam didn’t bother trying to say anything else or reassure him at all. She just turned and made her way towards the door slowly, trying not to jostle her aching back. Hopefully his curiosity would get the best of him and he’d follow her in. If not, she didn’t worry about him causing trouble. If he didn’t want to do this he’d simply leave. Honestly, she wasn’t quite sure that wasn’t the route he’d take.

When she heard his footsteps start to follow her, she was surprised. Still, she said nothing, simply leading him into the bunker. She ignored the way he looked around and the low whistle he gave as he most likely realized where it was that they were. Her Gabriel had known about the Men of Letters. He hadn’t known the location of this place but he’d heard of it. This one here most likely had to. Let him marvel over it all he wanted. Sam focused on getting herself down the entry stairs and making her way towards the library. The first thing she wanted was to pour herself a drink. Hopefully it would help brace her up for what was about to happen. Because she had no illusions – this wasn’t going to be fun. It was going to be hard and painful and bring up things that so far she’d avoided thinking about. She definitely hadn’t said them to anyone. But she was going to have to say some of them to Gabriel. It was the only way to get him to agree to help.

It was time for some of her secrets to stop being secrets. If there was anyone out there she could trust with them, it’d be the archangel who was standing on the other side of the large library table watching her with a raised eyebrow and an amused look on his face.

 _Jesus,_ she thought, unable to look away from his face. _I am so screwed. Damn you, Gabriel. Damn you._


	6. Chapter 6

For all that Sam had been the one to instigate this whole thing, it didn’t make it any easier when it came time to sit down and actually start talking. She sat at the long table in the library with Gabriel across from her and Meg to her right and found that she couldn’t quite seem to think of what words to say. She’d already given Gabriel the basics the last time they’d met up. What was she supposed to give him now? Details? The idea of that was enough to make her want to shudder. No, she really didn’t want to give details. Something told her she wasn’t going to get much of a choice.

“I’m not sure where to start.” She finally admitted. It seemed a lot easier than just sitting here in silence with Gabriel just _staring_ at her. Lifting her hands, she spread them out palm up and gave a small shrug before dropping them back down. “I don’t want to make assumptions. Is you being here a sign that you’re actually willing to help, or is it just your insatiable curiosity demanding you come and get answers?”

“We’re not giving out answers if you’re not planning on helping.” Meg told him flatly. She’d gotten over some of her shock and awe at the fact that this was an archangel, it seemed.

Gabriel grinned at the ex-demon. He always had preferred the people in his life to be bold, snarky, and full of attitude. The appreciation in his gaze as it ran over Meg was enough to have Sam curling her hands into fists. “Aren’t you the feisty one?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and chuckled when Meg glared harder at him. “Calm down, Fido. I’m not after your person here. But I’m not exactly dumb enough to sign up for things I don’t know about.” At that, he turned his focus back to Sam, his eyes sharp despite the teasing expression he still wore. A reminder that he wasn’t as playful as he was trying to make himself out to be. Even the way he leaned back and kicked his feet up on the table, crossing them at the ankle, was all a pose meant to make him look far more relaxed than he really was. His eyes stayed fixed right on Sam. “So – you’re from a different timeline than ours. One that somehow manages to live through the apocalypse and end with setting my dear old Aunt free from a prison she’s been inside of longer than you humans can comprehend. Which means you got caught up in something else monumentally stupid as well.”

Yeah, that was one word for it. Sam thought of the Mark of Cain and shuddered a little. She had to fight to push aside those memories and to make her voice steady. “Pretty much. I don’t know if you intended to send me back this far to fix things, or if it was just how it worked out, but I do know that most of our trouble started around this time. Or, came to a head, really. The apocalypse was the start of everything going downhill for us.” It was the start of Sam’s biggest mistakes and the damage that she’d caused to her relationship with her brother; damage that had never quite fully healed. It was because of that damage that some of the other things that happened were able to push them apart so easily.

“I’m surprised there was still an _earth_ left after my bros went at it.” Gabriel said bluntly. He held what looked to be licorice and used it to point at her. “Let’s start there, hm? How on earth did you bozos stop things? Cause that’s the only thing that makes sense. You had to have stopped it. Otherwise the planet would’ve been gone.”

Though Meg obviously didn’t like Gabriel’s tone, or the way he was acting, or countless other things, his question was one that she obviously wanted an answer to as well. She turned to look at Sam, who was busy trying to swallow the lump that had built in her throat. Neither one had any idea what they were asking of her. This was a topic she never talked about. In her timeline, even when they were at their worst Dean still would’ve stepped in here, steered the conversation away from this topic or at least taken over answering until Sam could get her composure. They might not have always gotten along and their relationship might’ve been so damn strained, but this was one area that Dean could get protective of her still. But he wasn’t here now to shelter her. He wasn’t here to help. This was on her. “It wasn’t easy.” Sam finally said.

“Why can’t we do whatever you did all over again?” Meg asked. “I mean, I get it, it was hard, but if you did it once we should be able to do it again, right?”

The idea of that made Sam shudder. _‘Hey there, bunk-buddy!’_ Her hands clenched convulsively before she got herself under control. “If it comes down to it, I can. But I’d like to think of it as a last resort. I’d like to stop it before Lucifer even gets released. Preferably before Dean has to go to hell.” If she could save him from that, she would. She’d do anything to save him from forty years of hell.

“Well you killed Azazel. That’s a huge first step.” Meg said.

Gabriel’s eyebrows shot up. He tilted his head to look at her, his expression clearly incredulous. “ _You_ killed him? I knew he was dead but I didn’t know who done it. How’d you manage that?”

On a bit steadier ground, Sam didn’t flinch with this one. She just shrugged her shoulder carefully, trying to ignore the growing ache in her back. She _really_ wanted to go lay down for a while. The amount of space that had been worked on with her back plus the feel of the power from the wards seeping into her skin and adjusting to her body was enough to make her feel like she’d been dragged on her bare back across the ground. Still, this was important and it needed to be done. She kept her answer short and simple, though. “With the Colt.”

“She summoned him to a trap an shot him seconds after he landed.” Meg elaborated, flashing her a look of barely concealed worry. Then she flashed a smile to hide it all. “And then came out here and cured me.”

Gabriel smirked and bit off a bit of his licorice. “Ah, yeah. These old fogeys learned how to do that a while back, didn’t they? Explains how you got the sparkly little soul you got going on.” Taking another bite of his licorice, he focused back on Sam, who was watching him steadily. Something in her look made him smile. “You know, I think I’m going to end up liking you despite myself. It’s rather gross. But you’ve got quite a set of _cajones_ here, sweetheart.”

“Not anymore.” Sam muttered under her breath before she could stop herself.

If Gabriel heard – which he had to have – he didn’t comment. Instead, he sat back in his chair and watched her while munching away on his candy. There was an intensity in his gaze that had her wanting to shift in her seat. Only extreme willpower kept her still. Eventually, Gabriel’s lips quirked up in a smile with just a hint of respect at the edges of it. “All right.” He broke her gaze, looking over to Meg and then back to her. “So, you want us to try and find a way to stop the apocalypse – which should be impossible, by the way – but you don’t want to do the method you used last time for whatever reason. Did I get that right?”

“Close enough.”

“I need a lot more than ‘close enough’. You want my help stopping this, than I wanna know what’s going on. That’s my price here, kiddo.”

Ah – that’s what she’d been waiting for. The price. She wasn’t stupid enough to think he would do this without asking for something from her. If pushed, she had a feeling he’d help no matter what, though he wouldn’t do it easily or happily, or maybe even openly. But if she wanted him to be fully on their side, working side-by-side with them, she’d known she was going to have to give him something. She also knew she wasn’t going to make it easy on him. That would only make him suspicious. So she arched an eyebrow right back at him. “How can I know you won’t take that knowledge and run with it?” She knew he wouldn’t, of course. The most he’d do is go so deep in hiding no one would find him. But she knew showing him that kind of trust would only push him away from her.

Gabriel looked offended by her question – which was exactly what she’d wanted. “I don’t break my word.”

She pretended to think about it. There was no other answer she could give here, she knew, but she gave the pretense anyways, and he let her have it. Finally, she nodded. “I’ll answer two questions and that’s it. The rest, you can earn.”

“Ten.” He countered immediately.

Off to the side, Meg made a choked sound. Sam silenced her by putting a hand on her leg. She kept her eyes on Gabriel. “Three.”

“Eight.”

“Five.”

His eyes flashed a little. He knew that was the best he was going to get – it was the number Sam had already decided on anyways – and he quickly said, “Deal.”

Gabriel didn’t immediately start asking questions. Sam smiled to herself and got comfortable. She knew this wasn’t going to be easy. He was smart – so damn smart. He’d pick his questions carefully. With five questions he could find out quite a bit. And she had to answer them. If she didn’t, if she tried to lie, it’d screw any trust before they got started, and she needed him to trust somewhat. She needed him not to panic and run.

“How did you stop the apocalypse last time?”

She’d known that would be one of his questions. Go figure he started with one of the ones she really didn’t want to have to answer. But that didn’t mean that she had to give him _all_ the details. There was no one better at word games than her Loki and he’d taught her a whole hell of a lot in their time together. “We got the rings from the four Horsemen.” She watched his surprise flash in his eyes at that and offered him a small smile, knowing that surprise was about to grow. “Then, we threw Lucifer back into the Cage and locked him away.”

The room was silent as Gabriel gaped at her. He was obviously waiting for more; just as obviously, she wasn’t going to give him anything. She could see it when he realized it. That this was all he was going to get. She couldn’t help but smirk a little at the look of consternation that flashed over his face even as she warmed at the flicker of something akin to pride that flared as well. “How did you set my Aunt free?”

That was another one that she’d known would be asked. She also knew he was going to get pissed with this one. Braced for that, she lifted her chin and didn’t even try to sugarcoat the mistakes she’d made. “I worked with a witch named Rowena to use the Book of the Damned to remove the Mark of Cain off Dean’s arm. It broke the lock and let her out of jail.”

A sucked in breath had Gabriel swallowing his candy whole. A human would’ve started choking on it. The archangel simply swallowed till it was gone, all the while staring at Sam with open shock. “You _what_?” There was a hint of power to that last word that made both Sam and Meg twitch. Gabriel dropped his feet down and sat forward in his seat. “I thought you bozos tried to help Cain or killed him or something. How on Dad’s earth did Dean end up with the Mark on his arm?”

There was question three, even if Sam had a feeling Gabriel hadn’t stopped to think about it or realized that it counted. “Crowley convinced Dean that the only way to stop Abaddon was to get the Mark and the First Blade. He said they’re the only things that can kill a Knight of Hell.”

“Oh, fuck.” Meg breathed out. She had turned towards Sam now as well and she looked horrified. She’d been a demon – she knew what Knights were.

“Shit.” Gabriel shook his head. “Where was I when this was happening? If I was part of your merry little gang like you keep suggesting, I could’ve stopped a Knight for you. Better than letting Deano take the damn _Mark._.”

This, more than any other question, was one that Sam had wanted to avoid answering. Not only did it hurt her to think about, it would hurt Gabriel. She really didn’t want to hurt him. Though she knew she had to answer, hopefully she could word it a way that might distract him from asking other questions, like _how_. “At the time, you were… you were dead.”

She saw the shock at that and the way he locked it down almost immediately. There was a moment where she wasn’t sure what he would do, run or demand more answers, but then she saw the flash in his eyes and it took everything she had no to breathe a sigh of relief as he asked “At the time?”

“Chuck brought you back.” Sam said easily. Then she paused, lips twitching a little. “Or, well, your Father. I still can’t help but think of him as Chuck. That was how we knew him.” She looked over at Meg and chuckled at the confusion she saw there. “Yeah. I’m not sure if it’ll be the same in this world or anything, but in mine, God was in hiding as a prophet named Chuck Shurley. He wrote _books_ about us. There were conventions, _fanfiction_ , and LARPing.”

That little bit of humor worked to ease some of the tension. Not all of it, of course. Sam had just dumped a ton of information at Gabriel’s feet, not the least of which was that his Father had been on earth hiding out as a prophet. Sam knew he’d check – he wouldn’t be able to resist. But she also doubted that God would stay as Chuck. If Chuck even existed in this timeline.

When she looked back at Gabriel she found him watching her with a sharp look on his face. He was processing information in that lightning fast way of his and coming to conclusions he didn’t seem all that happy with. His voice held a hint of mockery and false humor to it that Sam knew better than to trust as he asked her,  “What were we to each other in your timeline? More than just war buddies, I’m guessing.”

“Sorry.” Sam flashed a smile, hoping to cover up the pang in her chest. “That’s six.”

That caught him off guard. It was easy to see the way he backtracked, how he counted his questions, and when he realized she was right. She also saw it when he realized that he’d been played. The respect in his face that had been grudging before now grew a little. “Well played, sweetheart.” He lifted his hands and slow clapped. “Well played.”

Sam gave a low, mock-bow.

Dropping his hands again, Gabriel resumed studying her. “I’ll figure it out, you know.”

“Good luck.” Sam said in as sweet of a voice as she could manage. Then she pushed her chair back and rose to her feet. “Now, if you two don’t mind, I’m sore and ready for bed. Why don’t we meet back here in the morning for some breakfast and planning?” Without waiting for an answer, she made her way out of the room, calling out over her shoulder “Try not to kill one another while I’m gone!”

With that, she was gone, leaving two stunned and amused people behind.


	7. Chapter 7

After a rather restless night, unable to settle fully with the knowledge that Gabriel was likely still here in the bunker somewhere, Sam finally gave up around five in the morning. She got herself up and changed into a set of running clothes. Then she slipped out through one of the many secret exits and set off down a path she’d run plenty of times in her timeline.

This body, it wasn’t in the physical shape her last one had been, and it was going to take some time to get it there. Time that they might not have. Sam needed to do everything possible to get herself into shape. No matter what came their way next it was likely going to be one hell of a mess and she needed to be in as good of physical shape as she possibly could be. Besides, running had always helped to clear her head and she really needed that at the moment. Seeing Gabriel, talking to him, interacting with him, had ripped at the still open wounds inside of her and left her feeling like she was bleeding out. God, she’d known this would hurt but she hadn’t realized just how much! To have him look at her without actually _seeing_ her was devastating.

 _I don’t know if I can do this_. Her feet pounded the ground beneath her as she ran and ran, pushing her body harder. _It hurts, Gabriel. To look at you—how am I supposed to do this?_

She pushed herself a little harder, a little faster, until the sound of her running feet and the beating of her heart drowned out any other thoughts.

By the time she reached the bunker again, she was stumbling and her legs were shaking. Somehow she managed to stumble her way inside and to the showers without once being disturbed by anyone along the way. Standing underneath the hot water helped to ease away some of the aches from her run and help her relax enough to steady her legs again. As she stood under the water she was immensely grateful for the fact that her tattoo had been made with special ink and that it healed faster than a normal tattoo. Otherwise, she would’ve had to be careful showering so she wouldn’t get it wet, at least for the first day. She was safe to stand there for as long as she wanted to. The high from her run lasted for a while, meaning that she could just stand in the hot water and not think about _anything_. It was wonderful.

Twenty minutes later she was dressed in simple jeans and a t-shirt and was making her way out to the main part of the bunker. So far she hadn’t run into either Meg or Gabriel and it had her curious and just a bit nervous. Leaving those two together last night, _alone_ , probably hadn’t been the smartest of plans. Even if they hadn’t tried to kill one another, the last thing she needed was them sharing information with each other and trying to figure her out. Lord only knew what they’d be able to piece together.

It only made her more nervous when she reached the library and found the two of them sitting there at one of the tables. There was a tray in front of them that held a coffee carafe, an empty cup, and a plate of pastries. Gabriel had a mug in his hands and was kicked back once more with his feet up on the table. Only this time, it was less a show and just a bit more honest. He was actually relaxing a little. Her Gabriel had always done the same thing when here. He’d told her “It’s relaxing to be in here. I don’t have bother hiding anything. The wards do it all for me.” Maybe this Gabriel felt the same way.

Meg was leaning forward, arms resting on the table, and her own mug was cradled between her hands. Something Gabriel said had her looking up. Almost immediately she beamed at Sam. “About time you got here, lazy ass. We’ve been waiting on you.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” Sam tried not to let her caution show as she went up to join them at the table. She took the seat that put her across from Gabriel again and right next to Meg, who was at the end of the table. Gabriel beamed at her while she reached out for the spare coffee cup on the tray. It only served to make her more nervous. Raising an eyebrow at him, she gave him one of her most suspicious looks. “Good morning, Gabriel.”

“That it is.” Gabriel quipped. His eyes were crinkled at the edges from the size of his smile and it really shouldn’t have warmed her inside the way that it did. She just, she’d missed that look. She’d missed it so damn much. It still wasn’t the same – there was no love there, no trust, nothing at all that she was used to seeing – yet just being able to see him smile like that was enough for now. It was far better than nothing.

Still, Sam looked from Gabriel’s grin over to Meg’s attempt at an innocent face and she knew she was in trouble. A groan slipped free. With one hand she reached up and rubbed at her face. “You guys sat up and talked, didn’t you?” It wasn’t really a question. There was no doubt in Sam’s mind they’d done exactly what she’d hoped they wouldn’t. They’d stayed up and exchanged information. There was no telling what they’d managed to figure out between them.

“We compared notes.” Meg admitted easily, without shame.

Gabriel nodded his agreement. “Came up with a few interesting things.”

“Oh God.” Letting out a groan, Sam dropped her head down and buried it in her hands. This was _not_ what she’d wanted to have happen. Head buried in her hands, she tried to figure out what to do here. How much had they figured out? What did they think they knew?

A small, slender hand patted her arm in mocking concern. “There, there, sis.”

Sam didn’t even bother looking up. “Bite me.”

“Sorry, Sami, I’m not in to older women.” Meg teased.

Groaning again, Sam rubbed at her face. _This is what I get for leaving them alone. It’s no one’s fault but my own._ With that reminder she wiped a hand over her face and forced herself to sit up. For all that she’d been snarking with Meg, it was Gabriel she was more worried about. He’d have more knowledge in his head to be able to pair with the information he got from Meg. Right now he was going to be the one who was likely going to have pieced together the most. He was also the one she was worried about. What Meg knew – Sam wasn’t fond of sharing a lot of this with anyone, but there was no real need for her to worry about Meg finding out things except for Sam’s need to not share her personal life. No, it was Gabriel that was the real concern. He was the one that she didn’t want to know. Looking at him, Sam sighed heavily and waved her hand at him in a ‘go on’ gesture. “All right, hit me. What exactly is it that you think you know?”

He arched an eyebrow at her as if he thought she was being particularly dramatic about things. Which, really, coming from him was a bit ridiculous. There was no one she knew more dramatic than him. “ _Well_ ,” He drawled the word out, proving his own need for dramatic flair. “There’s the little bit of info about you apparently being the _older_ sister here in your unique little relationship with your demon-buddy.”

The use of the term ‘demon-buddy’ had Sam scowling. “Don’t call her that.” She snapped. It wasn’t just because it wasn’t fair to Meg, either. That term brought up too many negative memories that Sam really didn’t want to have to deal with.

Gabriel smirked and rolled his eyes at her. He didn’t comment on it, though, and just kept going. His voice was so casual like he wasn’t ripping apart some of the protections that Sam had put around herself as if they were nothing. “It wasn’t too hard to pair that up with a few other things you said last night. And, well…” He trailed off and shrugged his shoulder.

Oh God. Sam stared at the coffee carafe in front of her and wished her hands were steady enough to reach out and pour a cup. This was what she’d been afraid they would come up with. It was also the one thing she’d known she was going to have the hardest time keeping quiet. Yet, more than anything, it was the one of the last things in the world she wanted to talk about. The only thing she wanted to talk about _less_ was her relationship with Gabriel.

All at once, Sam sighed and deflated before them. The calm she’d found on her run was long gone. Feeling suddenly every inch her years, she closed her eyes and tilted her head down, shoulders slumping. “Does it really matter?” Her voice was soft and full of things these two wouldn’t know her well enough to recognize. It only made her miss her old life even more. There was no one to help her through this. She was going to have to handle it on her own. “All of that, it happened in a timeline that doesn’t even exist anymore. So long as I do my job, it won’t have to happen in this one.”

“Sam,” Meg’s voice had softened. Faced with how obviously upset Sam was by this, her earlier sarcasm had vanished. She reached out and curled one hand over Sam’s arm. It drew the hunter’s eyes up until she was looking at the woman that was slowly becoming a real friend. There, she found compassion and a bare hint of understanding. Meg had been a demon. She knew what Hell was like. “We’re not trying to hurt you.” Meg said gently. “We’re just trying to understand.”

It was Gabriel who finally said the words out loud that they were all dancing around here. “You said yes.” He was looking right at her as he said it and his own mocking humor was gone. His expression was blank, a way to hide emotions from those that didn’t know how to look. Sam, though – Sam saw the lines on his face, the dimness of his eyes, and she knew just how upset he really was. “You said yes, somehow managed to get back control, and you jumped.”

What exactly was Sam supposed to do here? She couldn’t lie. She just, couldn’t. Not to him. But she couldn’t say the word he wanted to hear. Especially not in this kind of conversation. Instead, she nodded, and watched as Gabriel’s expression tightened and Meg looked at her with open sorrow.

“How long?” Meg asked.

This was just as hard. She also knew that this part was going to go over even worse than the rest. Not just for them but for her. She wouldn’t be able to get away with just telling them part of it. They’d have to know the answers to a few more things, like how it was that she was sane right now. Sam reached out a hand that was so much steadier than she’d expected it to be and she grabbed the carafe, focusing on pouring herself a drink while she answered them in the calmest voice she could manage right then. “My body was pulled out by that night. My soul… my soul stayed there for around a year and a half before Dean managed to make a deal with Death to pull it out.”

The room filled with curses almost instantly. Sam ignored it, reaching for the little pots of cream and sugar that the carafe had been hiding before. She pulled them over and used them next, keeping her voice just as calm as she continued to speak overtop of them, never once looking up as she did. “Death put up a wall in my head and locked away all my memories of the Cage. Eventually, someone tore the wall down, and I ended up spending a little time in an asylum until a friend of ours was able to take the crazy and transfer it to them.” Now, she looked up, and she knew her eyes were fierce as she glared from one person to the next, not giving a damn about how shocked the both looked. Let them be shocked. They were the ones that had demanded answers here. If they didn’t like what they got, it was their own fault. “That was years ago for me, and I’m fine. I’m not crazy. The only effect it has is that some of my pre-Cage memories tend to get a bit hazy sometimes if I try and look too far back. But I can remember them if I put in the effort. So you don’t have to worry about me snapping on you and losing it. I’ve been there, done that, and faced even more since then. I’ve been _back_ to the Cage and actually _worked with Lucifer_ to try and stop Amara. Because whatever happened in the past, it doesn’t matter. No,” She slashed a hand through the air, cutting off the protest she saw building on Meg’s lips. “It doesn’t! What we’re trying to do here is figure out a way to keep all of existence from being swallowed by the Darkness. _That’s_ what’s important here. Now, can we focus on that, or are we going to keep looking into things in the past that can’t actually be changed?”

For a long moment the room stayed silent. Sam looked at Meg, who was pressing her lips together as if to restrain words. She was pale, her eyes a bit shocky, but there was a strength there that Sam knew she possessed. It allowed her to push her own emotions down and, finally, give Sam a small nod.

Sam turned to Gabriel next. He was going to be more difficult, she knew. When she looked at his eyes she could see the storm brewing inside of them. This version of him barely even knew her, yet the archangel inside of him was going to be seething at the idea of any soul spending that long down there with his brother. If only he knew that Michael had been there as well. It’d make this worse, she knew, which was the last thing they needed. Sam could see how badly he was taking this all as it was. There was no doubt in her mind he wanted to demand some answers. Why Dean had made a deal with death, why her body had been pulled out and not her soul, what had happened there, who had taken the crazy from her, countless things that he’d want to know. Whatever he saw on her face seemed to make him realize, even more than her words, that she was done talking about this. He gave her a reluctant nod, though it wasn’t hard for her to read that he wasn’t going to let this go permanently. Just… for now.

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Sam turned her focus back to her coffee. “Good. Now, while you two were up gossiping, did you manage to actually think of anything we might be able to use to help us?”

“Not much.” Meg admitted. She still looked a little off balance. She was trying, though, and Sam appreciated it more than she could say. “If we want to stop the Apocalypse, stopping the Righteous Men from going to hell is a good place to start. But that’s not just your brother.”

Sam sat back in her seat and cradled her mug in her hands. It took effort, yet she pushed away her other thoughts and focused on what was right here in front of her. “I know. They tried Dad first last time and it didn’t work. That was why they moved on to Dean.”

“So they go for your Dad, first.” Gabriel said. Nothing on the outside showed anymore that he was the least bit bothered by their conversation. He looked in control again. It was a façade, Sam knew, yet one she wasn’t going to call him on. They needed him calm enough to work with them. While she and Dean could pull out some amazing plans if they put their heads together, they had nothing on the knowledge that Gabriel carried around in his head.

Meg reached out to refresh her coffee cup and snag one of the pastries. Without any shame or embarrassment, she shoved part of the pastry into her mouth and spoke around it, making Sam scowl. Was she cursed to have disgusting siblings? “Yeah, they were workin’ on ways to get to him. Just means we gotta get him safe first.”

Gross. Sam wrinkled her nose at the other woman. A bit of her disgust leaked through into her voice. “Both of them, actually.” Then, unable to resist, she added on “And finish chewing before you speak. That’s disgusting.”

Of course, the little shit grinned around her mouthful rather proudly. She seemed to have easily found her footing again and was moving along with things. It was probably easy to process that kind of information when you were an ex-demon who’d already been a demon for hundreds of years.

They were interrupted by Gabriel. “Much as I hate to suggest it, the smartest plan seems to be to get all you Winchesters under one roof. Won’t exactly be easy to go after you if they can’t _find_ you.”

His suggestion had Sam almost fumbling her cup. Just barely did she manage to keep hold of it. Right away she wanted to protest his words. The very last thing she wanted was for her family to be here! She didn’t want to have to be in the same place as them. As much as her heart ached to see Dean, she just, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Not with the memories of the last time she’d seen him still ringing around in her head. And not when she knew just how poisonous her presence was in his life. “Me being around Dean doesn’t exactly work out all that well.” Their insane desire to protect one another was what started half their troubles.

“It’s the best way to keep ‘em safe.” Gabriel said, shrugging one shoulder. “You asked for my help, this is me giving it. You wanna keep everyone safe long enough to build a plan, your best bet is bringing em here, maybe getting everyone inked up like you so they can fly under the radar.”

“What about our friends?” Sam sat forward and rested her arms on the table. As much as she hated the idea of bringing the others here, she knew it was smart. Gabriel was right. They wouldn’t be better protected anywhere else. But there were still a few things that could go wrong. “Last time around, when a demon wanted to draw us out just to get the Colt from us, they went around killing any friends the Winchesters had. And that was just to get back the Colt. For something this big?” The idea of what angels and demons might do to draw them out made her want to throw up.

With her usual disregard for tact, Meg snorted at her. “Last I looked into your family, you’re not exactly swimming in friends. Didn’t you guys grow up pretty much on the road?”

“Yes.” It was something that Sam had always hated. In either timeline. “But we’ve got some out there. Caleb, Pastor Jim, Bobby. Ellen and Jo.” Though Ellen and Jo wouldn’t know who they were yet. Sam tried to ignore the pang she felt at that. Just like the one she felt at the next set of people. “I’ve got a half-brother out there, too. Adam Milligan. I know it’s not ideal, but they weren’t afraid to use him as backup for Michael last time.” And, God help her, if Sam could keep that from happening again, if she could keep Adam out of the Cage, then she would.

Gabriel rolled his eyes at her. “We can’t protect the planet, kiddo.”

“That’s exactly what we’re trying to do.” Sam shot back. “I know my family, Gabe. My Dad? If anything happens to Dean, he’ll make a deal, no matter how much of a dick he is about things. That’s what happened last time. And Dean? He’ll make a deal if anything happens to Dad and I. If they’re anything like the other them, they won’t make deals for Pastor Jim or Caleb, but Dean might for Bobby, and there’s no telling what Dad’ll do for Adam. Those two, at least, need to be protected as well, and the others might need to be watched. Or warned.”

“They’re not gonna believe the truth.” Meg pointed out.

Sam nodded her head. She knew that. Very few would believe what was going on here. Pastor Jim might. Ellen, maybe. But there was no telling. “We don’t have to tell them the truth.” Lifting her mug, she took a sip while her eyes went a bit distant. “All I need to tell them is that someone is going to potentially use them to try and get to the Winchesters. I can teach them some new wards to put up, things that’ll keep them safe. Maybe even banishing sigils. The stuff they’d need to know to protect themselves. We did it to Bobby’s place last time. It’d only take a day to ward the property and up the protection on his panic room.” She didn’t even really realize it as she zoned the other two out. They’d given her the groundwork she needed and it was just enough for her to build off of. Plans started to form in her head, just barely there ones. They’d only be small patches on a leaking dam, yet they might hold off the water long enough for her to come up with something better. “I get them protected, and Dad and Dean here, everyone can be safe while we try and figure out what to do. I just gotta convince them to actually come and stay here and not try and hunt me down.”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Meg cut in, holding her hands up. She fixed Sam with a serious look that was eerily echoed by the rather uncharacteristically quite Gabriel. “You’re not planning on staying here?”

Of course she wasn’t. Not if her family was going to. Sam tried to make it look as causal as she could when she shrugged. An old memory rose up and brought a soft, sad smile to her lips as she told them “Dad and I don’t get along, and Dean and I… we’re like the oil and water of the apocalypse. It’s better for everyone if we just, pick a different hemisphere.”

She missed the looks on their faces as she turned her gaze down to her coffee and tried to figure out her next step. This wasn’t going to be easy, there was no doubt about that. Yet she felt good having some sort of plan here.

It wasn’t much, but it was a start.


End file.
